A Tainted Love
by artemis-nz
Summary: A look at the feelings Bakura and Ryou have for each other, from both P.O.V's. Bakura/Ryou.


**After writing it I didn't think I would post this, it just didn't seem as good to me as what I usually do, but after it just sitting there for a few days I thought I might as well, and se what you guys all think so... don't shoot me, I know it sucks!**

Bakura's P.O.V  
_Ryou's P.O.V_

I am the Darkness. I have lived inside a host body for a long time – longer than even my light would ever suspect, and longer than I can recall. Now that I have my own body, I can experience all that goes with it. I no longer must see with Ryou's eyes, or hear with his ears. Now I am free to go where I will, without having to use another body to do so.  
But this, this feeling that I had purposefully pushed back while I inhabited my light's body, is bad news. It now clamours for it to be acknowledged, and it grows harder, day by day, to deny it.

Could it be that I, Bakura, former Ancient Egyptian and infamous tomb robber, have fallen in love?

_I am the Light, Ryou Bakura. And, I love my Darkness. _

_How egotistical is that? If I have fallen in love with my Darkness, doesn't that mean I have fallen in love with myself? We are the same – two faces of one coin, one not existing without the other. And yet, now with two separate bodies. No matter how hard I argue the point with myself, I can never come to a conclusion. I have fallen in love with someone who looks like me, who once shared the same body as me, who, if you look at it logically, is a part of me. The dark part. None the less, I cannot help myself. I love Bakura, love my dark._

_Surely a love such as this must be tainted._

It doesn't seem to matter how hard I try to fight this feeling off; it is, after all, utterly ridiculous to love someone so frail, so fragile. And so dammed pure! That's how it all started, of course. I hated him for that. Hated his pure form, his completely pure soul. Hated him for making me feel so strongly about it, even admire it. Hated him for being the Light, while I was cursed to always be the Dark. I wanted to posses the light, wanted it with my entire being.

And now with my own body, I see that I still do want to possess the Light, but in an entirely different way.

I thought that to touch such purity would be to die; now I know, with astonishing clarity, that I will die if I do not. I want Ryou with an intensity that scares even me with its force.

And yet, I hold back. It is the purity I fell in love with; if I lay a finger on my hikari, I think I risk destroying this purity with a tainted love such as mine.

_Sometimes I think I will die if I don't touch him, just once. It would be so easy; I could just walk right up to him and... and then... I don't know what wold happen then. Actually, yes I do; he would walk away. He hates me, I know this. Hates my frail body, hates my insufferable weakness. If I were to lay even one finger on him, he would hate me even more for inflicting my weakness on him._

_Sometimes I catch this look in his eye, like he wants to say or do something really important. But then he looks away, and I think I have imagined it._

_I imagine a lot lately. I imagine what it would be like to touch him, to run my hands over his skin, to feel his body against mine, to– _

_Stop it, stop it, stop it! I should stop this, stop tormenting myself. Besides, any further and I start to breathe louder, and Bakura asks me what's wrong. I just smile and don't answer. Not one word, lest my voice give me away._

I honestly do not know how much longer I can keep this up. I swear he taunts me sometimes, with his lithe little body I will never hold, his soft hair I will never run my hands through, his pale skin I will never caress...

_He cannot know how I feel, or he would leave me, disgusted. And if he does, I think I would simply fade away from longing, never to be heard of again..._

Its building up – how do I hold it back? I feel as if I am going to do something very, very stupid...

_He's lying there on the couch, asleep. Oh gods, I don't think I can hold back for much longer..._

Shit, shit, shit! I can't not tell him. In the morning...

_In the morning I'll tell him, because even a tainted love like mine must be heard..._

Say goodbye to my sanity. Here comes the dawn...

_So this is what a sleepless night amounts to. Dawn is fast approaching..._

As the light reveals his perfect face to me...

_As the sunlight finally shows me his perfect features..._

I'll say the words that have been resounding in my head all night long...

_I'll whisper three words to him, even if he is asleep..._

"I love you."


End file.
